Can You Love Yourself and Want to Improve Yourself?


There is so much black and white in the health, fitness, and body positivity communities. On one hand you’ve got people preaching “don't settle, be better”, and on the other hand people preaching “you’re perfect just the way you are”. One side believes improving yourself is the gateway to self love, and the other believes you can’t love yourself if you’re trying to improve yourself.  

I found myself getting caught in the middle of these conflicting arguments, and being completely confused and frustrated.  Any time I wanted to improve something about myself, especially my outward appearance, I'd feel ashamed and hypocritical. How can I preach self acceptance if I don't accept myself? Then I thought, well wait, why does it have to be all or nothing? What if we could love ourselves while also wanting to improve ourselves? Crazy concept right? But guess what, it is possible. It's possible to want to lose weight and love yourself. It's possible to be happy with your life and want more money. It's possible to be fulfilled and want to go back to school. It's possible to want more as long as your self worth isn't tied to the outcome.

In my coaching practice I teach people how to build self acceptance while also working on improving their lifestyles, because there is no black and white when it comes to health and wellness.  I don’t believe that if you want to be better, then there must be something wrong with you.  I don’t believe that wanting more out of life and holding yourself to a higher standard means you’re lacking in value and worth.

I’ve spent much of my life living in black and white and there’s not a lot of peace there.  If you’re feeling conflicted as I was, and struggling between wanting to love yourself and improve yourself “health”just remember that you have the choice. You get to decide what works for you. You don’t have to feel shame for wanting to strive for more. Your self worth isn't defined by your outcomes. You're worthy just by being on this planet.

Are you living in black and white? Do you struggle with loving yourself and wanting to improve? Comment below or message me at I'd love to discuss this with you.